Non-Binary Writers and Writing

Writing non-binary characters may seem daunting, so here's some advice and discussion.

Non-Binary in today’s world

Being non-binary in today’s world is not easy. On one hand, you deal with cisgender people who claim it isn’t possible to not be female or male (or woman or man). You put up with their dismissiveness and their aggression for daring to be something they cannot comprehend. On another hand, you have transmedicalists who are among those in the trans community who refuses to acknowledge anything other than full transition from woman to man or man to woman, even going so far as to discount those who dare to opt against surgery. We are in between two worlds, and it is not an easy place to be most days.

Even more than that, non-binary people are almost never featured in media of any kind. I’ve never seen someone like me represented on television (I know there are shows out there that are underground and popular among other queer people, and I’ll admit I don’t want many shows). I’ve never read books about people like me. And true, I’m not up to date on all the latest trends because I spend a lot of time focused on my own works these days. But for many years I devoured everything I could get my hands on that was remotely interesting, and until about 2015, I’d never seen myself.

What does non-binary mean?

What makes a writer non-binary? If you aren’t up to date on the current queer world, I get that. It is a fast-moving world with a lot going on these days. There are a lot of new identities and resurgence of old identities these days. And it can be confusing if you aren’t involved in this corner of the world all the time.

The generally accepted definition of non-binary refers to a gender identity that doesn’t fit neatly within the traditional categories of “male” or “female.” Instead, non-binary people may identify as:

On our flag, the yellow represents someone who is both male and female. The white represents those who are neither male nor female. The purple is for those who are somewhere in between, and the black represents a different gender entirely, or as having no gender at all.

It is considered an umbrella term that includes identities like: Genderfluid-someone whose gender shifts over time, Agender-someone who feels they have no gender, Bigender-someone who identifies with two genders, and Genderqueer–a broad term for gender identities outside the binary. Of course, there are many more gender identities under this umbrella (Demi-girl, Demi-boy, for example).

Importantly, non-binary identity is about gender, not biological sex, and it’s distinct from sexual orientation. Some non-binary individuals also identify as transgender, while others do not. It is a deeply personal experience.

The concept isn’t new either. Many cultures have long recognized genders beyond male and female, such as the Hijra in South Asia or Two-Spirit people in Indigenous North American communities.

Writing non-binary characters

So, how do you write good non-binary characters? Even if you are non-binary, you may not know how to write characters outside your own identity. An agender person, for example, may not be sure how to write a bigender one. The experience of having no gender differs from someone possessing two. What is someone supposed to do if they’re cisgender and trying to bring diversity into their work?

Some people will say “don’t write outside your lived experiences” and personally, I say don’t listen to that advice. There are cases for that, of course, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be inclusive of non-binary genders in your work no matter your identity. I want to see different non-binary characters, even just as side characters, in books today. I want us to become visible and not something whispered about behind hands over mouths like we are some big secret.

There is no big secret at all. Write non-binary characters the same way you would write any other character. We’re no different from a cisgender person in most respects. We can be protagonists, antagonists, character foils, love interests, sages, magic users, whatever you can imagine. Think of it this way: Make us a part of the story without focusing on our non-binary nature. This can be as simple as a change in pronouns to they/them (which can be uncomfortable for some people, and some English language nerds will claim you shouldn’t use they to refer to one person, even though we do it all the time without realizing it). But we don’t all use they/them exclusively. For example, I’ll use he/she/they for myself. I am feminine reading for safety, so I am generally thought of as female. And if that’s the case for your character, if they’re in the gender closet to most the world, they may not want others to use they/them. Remember, in some areas and situations, it is not safe to be outwardly non-binary.

The dos:

• Do use common sense with non-binary characters. If the character is masculine-leaning, they might not go dress shopping unless, of course, they have a reason to do so. Safety, being one.

• Do understand that you are writing a very different experience than being cisgender in many ways. It isn’t the easiest.

• Do talk to non-binary people about the story. Go ahead and ask us! We want to see non-binary characters in stories and most of us are excited to help you with it.

• Do realize we are not all androgynous beings, though it is important to acknowledge we might be. But we shouldn’t only see androgynous characters; use a variety of expression.

The Don’ts:

• Don’t assume we’re all the same. We’re as individual as everyone else in the world. You can’t assume every cisgender person likes the same things, and you can’t assume every non-binary person is going to like the same things, either.

• Don’t paint us all as deviants or the ones everyone mocks. Please, we already are targeted, don’t make it worse.

• Don’t always make us the bad guy. I love a good non-binary antagonist as much as anyone, but it can get old if it’s the only non-binary character in the story. Write some balancing elements, like another non-binary character, even a side character, who is obviously on the side of the protagonist. This will keep people from thinking your story is villainizing non-binary people.

• Don’t assume we’ve all had some sort of gender confirmation surgery. Just because we’re non-binary, we don’t have access to a lot of the transgender related surgeries to start with.

• Don’t assume we all hate our current bodies. Some of us love our bodies as they are, so we don’t feel like we’re at odds with our appearance. Can non-binary people hate their body? Of course! But not all of us do.

• Don’t assume we all have dysphoria. I happen to have the issue with dysphoria, but it is not a requirement to be non-binary.

Non-binary contributions to literature

There are already people out there pushing the boundaries in many areas. There are non-binary people in space, fighting dragons, and more. We have to acknowledge that change is happening every day in our world, and even though it is extremely difficult in today’s political climate, there are many ways you can help. Number one is reading non-binary authors. We write in many areas, and we can be found by searching online. At the end, you will find a list of authors you can check out.

We’re here to stay

It is important to realize, while non-binary genders are not a “new” thing today, we aren’t going anywhere. No matter how many times we’re called names or told we’re wrong and can’t exist, we’re not changing anything about ourselves. We will not cut off pieces of our identity just so we can fit into the box others have built for us. We exist, whether people believe in us or not, and we’re here to stay.

List of Non-Binary Authors:

Charlie Jane Anders, writer of The City in the Middle of the Night, All the Birds in the Sky. Known for speculative fiction with queer protagonists, climate themes, and emotional depth.

Jackson Bird, writer of Sorted: Growing Up, Coming Out, and Finding My Place. Includes warm, witty memoir chronicling a trans journey and the joy of self-discovery.

• Jennifer Finney Boylan, writer of She’s Not There, Cleavage. Includes memoir and cultural critique on gender, identity, and transformation.

• Akwaeke Emezi, writer of Freshwater, Pet, The Death of Vivek Oji. Known for blending Igbo cosmology, gender fluidity, and trauma with lyrical, genre-defying prose.

• Lucy Sante, writer of I Heard Her Call My Name. This is a bold, joyous memoir of gender transition and artistic life in bohemian NYC.

• Vivek Shraya, writer of I’m Afraid of Men, She of the Mountains. Known for writing memoir and fiction exploring masculinity, queerness, and cultural identity with fierce vulnerability

• Rivers Solomon, writer of An Unkindness of Ghosts, Sorrowland. Themes include afrofuturism meets queer and neurodivergent identity; haunting, political, and poetic themes.

• Neon Yang (JY Yang), writer of The Tensorate Series (The Black Tides of Heaven). Known for high fantasy with elemental magic, political rebellion, and non-binary protagonists.

Citations:

• PFLAG Nonbinary Resources. Offers articles, books, webinars, and ally guides tailored to non-binary identities. Includes content on pronouns, visibility, and inclusive practices. Explore PFLAG’s Nonbinary Resources.

• DignityUSA’s Trans & Nonbinary Hub. A wide-ranging list of organizations offering emotional, legal, and medical support, including Trans Lifeline, Queer Doc, and Campaign for Southern Equality. Visit DignityUSA’s Resource Page

• Rainbow Center – Trans/Non-Binary Services. Provides support groups, counseling, and transition assistance for non-binary and gender-diverse individuals. Great for community-building models. Check out Rainbow Center’s Services

• Genderqueer and Non-Binary Genders – Edited by Christina Richards, Walter Pierre Bouman, and Meg-John Barker. A foundational academic and personal exploration of non-binary identities.

• Articles like “Agender People Debunk Myths About Their Identities” and “What You’re Actually Saying When You Ignore Someone’s Gender Pronouns” offer powerful, personal insights. (PFLAG’s site)